For the past few months I have been back at a crapy, yet slightly cool schedule. 12 hour days, four on three off then three on four off. Now its nice to have the days off when OT is not mandatory but it is really bad for me at the same time.
Boredom + Mild depression + lack of motivation and funds = Gluttony and heavier depression.
I sit around bored out of my mind but too lazy to do anything but snack all day. I have basically wasted 1g paying for a gym that I have gone to maybe 30 times in the last year. I have wanted to start in a martial art or two and gain some confidence and get healthy but now that I am on a 12 hour schedule and broke, that wont happen. When I get home from my day I just want to eat dinner and go to sleep.
There are many things that are not healthy in my life. The way I eat, my mental status, the lack of ability to talk with my wife about things that really bother me.
I feel like I should have done things different and regret not taking opportunities when they came along. I tend to dwell on these things when I am bored and feel really horrible, I could go to work and keep my mind busy but someone can sit only so long troubleshooting electronics before they go nuts(like this isn’t nuts).
I know that I don’t know any of you truly as individuals but I spend more time here than any where else.
I am not looking for pity or chin up speeches. Sometimes you just need to vent and where better than a place that no one really knows you.
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