Euphemisms for the ages...

[lasturbo]

About as sharp as a marble.
A few clowns short of a circus.
Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas Tree.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
I wish I had a blueprint for his brain; I'm trying to build an idiot.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
He only has one oar in the water.
A few peas short of a casserole.
Doesn't have all her cornflakes in one box.
One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
One taco short of a combination plate.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
All foam, no beer.
The cheese slid off her cracker.
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Chimney's clogged.

[don moore]

sharp as a tack..wonder what end they are talking about....

[VX KAT]

All hat & no cattle

Now I know why Lions eat their young.....the great Rodney Dangerfield

He'd play Russian Roulette with an automatic pistol

She looks like she's been beat with an ugly stick

Couldn't think their way out of a paper bag

Look like they were rode hard & put away wet

That dog won't hunt

[VX KAT]

He thought the good Lord said "trains" not "brains" and asked for a big slow one

[Ldub]

That person really rubs my fur the wrong way

That guy is like a burr under my saddle blanket

[tom4bren]

He's depriving a villiage somewhere of an idiot.

He reached the bottom of the well ... and he's still digging.

He's mayo in a ketsup world.

[MSHardeman]

Allright, I don't know how many of you are from the South, but from where I come from you can TOTALLY slam someone, almost to their face, as long as you say "bless his/her heart" afterward. Everyone around you knows what you're talking about and usually nods in sympathetic agreement; i.e.----

(all of these must be said with your best Southern drawl)

"He's just as dumb as a stump, bless his heart."

"She's just a little ho, bless her heart."

I'm not really sure if this would go over anywhere else so please use with caution in your area of the country (world).