Super VXer
All hat & no cattle
Now I know why Lions eat their young.....the great Rodney Dangerfield
He'd play Russian Roulette with an automatic pistol
She looks like she's been beat with an ugly stick
Couldn't think their way out of a paper bag
Look like they were rode hard & put away wet
That dog won't hunt
Last edited by VX KAT : 06/29/2009 at 11:29 PM
VX KAT
....the adventure BEGINS ANEW! ...2015......
Remember that life is not measured in the breaths you take, but rather in the moments that take your breath away.
Super VXer
He thought the good Lord said "trains" not "brains" and asked for a big slow one
Super VXer
That person really rubs my fur the wrong way
That guy is like a burr under my saddle blanket
Super VXer
He's depriving a villiage somewhere of an idiot.
He reached the bottom of the well ... and he's still digging.
He's mayo in a ketsup world.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Put a smiley after you say that Bub.
Super VXer
Allright, I don't know how many of you are from the South, but from where I come from you can TOTALLY slam someone, almost to their face, as long as you say "bless his/her heart" afterward. Everyone around you knows what you're talking about and usually nods in sympathetic agreement; i.e.----
(all of these must be said with your best Southern drawl)
"He's just as dumb as a stump, bless his heart."
"She's just a little ho, bless her heart."
I'm not really sure if this would go over anywhere else so please use with caution in your area of the country (world).
"The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong, it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair."
-Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless
Super VXer
"as long as you say "bless his/her heart" afterward"
It's funny 'cause it's true.
Super VXer
Ya had to pick that smiley for your siggy ... I'm taking it personal.
Super VXer
Goes like sh1t of a chrome shovel
You can't polish a turd, but you can wrap it in clingfilm
Speed Thrills, Boredom Kills!!
Super VXer
Heard a new one today that just had to add here...
That guy's missing a few dogs from his front porch
Super VXer
How about:
His elevator don't go all the way to the top.
His lights are on, but there's nobody home.
He's got a photographic memory, but he just doesn't have any film.
He's playing stupid, it looks like he's winning too.
So I said to myself, I said "Handee"
and this voice came back and said..
"He's not in, may we take a message?"
Super VXer
Could sell fleas to a dog
Could sell sand to a camel
CrackBerry
Mary Jane (surely no explanation needed)
Lindsay Lohan (cocaine)
Dropping a deuce
Nancy boy
Bat out of hell
Hair on fire
Lead foot
Hope/Change (status quo + nice speeches - little dig at you Obama supporters)
Colder than a witch's tit in a metal bra
A long way from Kansas
Going postal
Rodney King treatment
Drinkin' the Kool-Aid
Junk in the trunk
Budonkadonk (sp?)
Few bricks short of a load
Feature (as opposed to bug)
Watching paint dry
Took us to the woodshed
Crankin' a brewski
Every squirrel finds a nut eventually
Getting his ***** handed to him
Firedog (AF term for fireman)
Blue light special (cops on the way)
I had about 20 more phrases but ended up deleting them due to the "questionable taste" restriction.
Member
That dog won't hunt. (That idea won't work.)
Snipe-hunt. (Wild goose chase.)
Not enough dogs under that porch. (Not smart, or not playing with a full deck (sic).)
Sitting on G waiting on O. (I'm ready.)
Have you got brass-*** or something? (Why are you so slow - military-derived.)
Hotter than a sterno bath. (Can refer to actual heat or the attractiveness of someone.)
Cock the pimp hand. (Prepare to strike a "ho," or anyone who annoys you.)
Pimple on the *** of progress. (Something useless.)
Can't find your *** with both hands. (Refers to stupidity.)
Dumb as a bag of hammers. (See last entry.)
Tango Uniform (Nice way of saying "tits up" which means "dead.")
That is just STUpid. (Inflection of STUpid often refers to something that is "sick," "Awesome," "fly," or otherwise good to a high degree.
Bat-**** crazy. (Could refer to insanity brought on by bat fecal matter, but normally refers to someone who's just plain bonkers.)
Redneck reunion. (Where I'm from in Alabama, I've heard this used to refer to any gathering of rural people, but it is often used to refer to high school proms, especially out in the sticks where many people are related and probably knocking boots (see below).)
Knocking boots. (Having sex.)
Busting caps. (Shooting bullets, as into someone's ***.)
Last edited by Ldub : 01/06/2010 at 05:56 AM Reason: Removed questionable content
VXer
Picking the fly sh*t out of the pepper
Tripping over a dollar to pick up a dime
That which does not kill me only makes me stronger.
Super VXer
One of my all time faves from my time in the Corps...
"Let me break it down Barney style for you..."
If you don't get what it means then you're someone that I would be saying it to.
Super VXer
Playing mind games with an unarmed man.
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