A short story by Steve Moseley (hehe).

Ok, so I decided I wanted to buy a VehiCROSS. I had done quite a bit of preliminary research, including blue book and black book pricing, and flipping through ads at various sites to see asking prices. Being a relatively savvy Internet shopper, I knew that the only right way to do it would be to find a forum of owners and browse the members’ ads. I found two ads here that really appealed to me, a couple of Protons. I really liked the sound of Cori’s, because it had half the mileage of the other (25k), but she had already traded it in to a dealer!

Later, I happened to check on eBay, because something good pops up there on occasion. Well, wouldn’t you know it, I found Cori’s VX there! So I wrote her an email asking for details about it: history, problems, accidents, etc. She gave me very detailed information and was extremely helpful. The car was perfect. I decided I had to have it. I called the dealer and made an offer. He countered and we agreed on $15,700. What a bargain! He changed the buy-it-now price on the auction, and I closed it. A 2 minute transaction ended my 2 month search for a new vehicle. But now I had a new and interesting dilemma: how to get my new VX from the Chicago suburbs to Miami?! And so my adventure began.

I bought the VX last week. My original intention was to have it shipped down here, but quotes were in the range of $800 - $1000, and I couldn’t justify that. I wound up buying a round-trip plane ticket for $140 – a much better option, because this way I could actually see the car before handing over my money, with a back-out option, just in case it was a scam. I woke up Saturday morning at 4:30 AM EST, and my girlfriend dropped me off at the airport. I slept for half of the 3 hour flight. They were playing some dull movie that didn’t interest me at all. For the other hour and a half, I flipped through the Sky Mall and chatted with the woman next to me. She was nice looking, with a Caribbean accent, wearing a business suit. She was going to some convention. Yawn, I want my VehiCROSS! Finally, we landed. The pilot said that the weather was sunny and 75 degrees. Oops… almost forgot it gets cold up here! I didn’t bother to bring anything warm!

So I got off the plane and went looking for a cab to take me to the dealership. Dan the salesman told me it’s about a 20 minute ride, and wouldn’t cost too much. Ok, so I found a cab. A brown one. Who would paint a car brown? How ugly. The driver was obviously new to the USA, from India or thereabouts. I could barely understand him, but from what I managed to make out, Chicago has a union on its cabs or something, and depending on which company you work for, you’re only allowed to take people to certain places! How messed up. Also, they can’t take a fare without an appointment. As it turns out, though, his fare’s destination was near mine, and they were a nice couple, so they split the cab with me. They were going to Northwestern University, where their son is a freshman theater major. We talked about college, technology, artificial intelligence, and other BS. They were nice people, but whatever. Get out of my cab. I want my VX!

The cab driver didn’t know where to go from where we were. We stopped and asked another cab for directions. Then we called the dealership and asked for directions. Then we just drove around (all while the clock was ticking) and looked for the place. We asked random people on the street which way to go for Central Ave., and Frontage Rd. and what not, finally making our way there. Mohammed, the cab driver, is from Sri Lanka. He came to the USA 4 years ago hoping to save up enough money to go back there and live like a king for the rest of his life. I hope he realizes his goals and doesn’t fall into the consumer nightmare that the USA is to so many foreigners who come here with similar hopes. We talked about politics and world economy, and I gave him my advice. We finally arrived at the dealership with $63.50 showing on the meter. He said my fare was a fixed price of $23. I gave him $40. Enough money to live like a king for a 2 weeks in Sri Lanka.

Dan the salesman met me at the front desk with a big smile. He’s shorter than I expected, and has red hair. He’s a really nice guy. We look at the car. Start it. There are a couple chips in the paint and a ding in the door. An aftermarket back-up alert system, and some screws through the cladding. All very minor stuff that I could fix myself. This car is pristine. I signed the paperwork and handed over the cashier’s check. Dan the salesman then got everything signed and gave me the title, temporary registration, etc. in an envelope. With that, I jumped in and took off. It’s now 1 PM (EST), and I have a long drive ahead of me!

I decided to stop in downtown Chicago on my way home to check out the architecture and get some lunch. I was going to get something local, but wound up going to the McDonald’s smack in the middle of downtown. On my way in, some locals were complaining about the heat: “It’s like freakin’ Miami!” I laughed to myself. This is a really cool Mickey D’s. If you’re ever in Chicago, you have to check it out. They have an old restored Corvette (I think a ’62) and old jukebox, and such a variety of people go to eat there. There are about 8-10 cashiers taking orders. It’s really big. I would have enjoyed eating inside, but I decided it would be cooler to walk around outside through Chicago and eat. I got an hour of free parking. Might as well use it! As soon as I got outside, I got hit up by a homeless guy for money. ‘What the hell?’ I thought. I was feeling really good, so I gave him a buck. Within 60 seconds, another homeless guy yelled out to me from across the street, “Slow down on them fries!” He wound up talking me out of them. Walking away with my chicken sandwich and a soda, I sensed a swarm of homeless guys recognizing a prime target in their sites. A third one approached me asking for money within another 60 seconds, and I skinned out and decided to eat in my car!

Chicago is a beautiful city. It’s got incredible new architecture mixed with older structures, giving it a really unique feeling. The corrosive rail surrounding the city, tying it together in a sense, is a constant reminder of the age of the city. Anyhow, I would have loved to stay in Chicago longer, but I really had to get going. It was not 2 PM EST, and I had a long haul ahead. So I jumped on 1-94 and headed east to Indiana.

There’s not much to say about Indiana. It’s boring: a long, unwavering ride through cornfields with an occasional sighting of a barn. Whoop dee doo. Well lucky for me, I drove through it during the storm of the century! Granted, the century is only 4 years old, but whatever! The rain was coming down in a wall of water. You couldn’t see the car ahead of you. The wind was like a sumo wrestler pounding your car incessantly. What a blast! When the rain let up, I could see the winds blowing clouds of dirt from the cornfields over the highway. I could hear the dirt pelting the side of my car. I was worried about the paint. So I pulled to the left of an 18-wheeler to protect me. Not smart. The 60 mph gusts were pushing it into my lane. I passed him and kept to the right. Up ahead, traffic had slowed to a halt, and you could make out a state trooper’s lights flashing. In the median, an 18-wheeler had been blown over by the gusts, and lay on its side, like a beached whale. The driver looked uninjured despite the fact that the cab was demolished. Damn, I should have brought my camera!

I skipped past Indianapolis. Boring states have boring cities. I shot down toward the next point on my “connect the dots” trip – Louisville. Kentucky is a really cool state to drive through. There are many mountains, and where the roads have been blasted out, you can see the staggered rock walls ascend up vertically to either side of you. It conveys the same sense as Frank Lloyd Wright’s architecture. You have to see it to know what I mean. There are also a lot of mountain roads with varying slope and great turns. I’d love to drive a Lotus Elise through there!

Louisville is entered by crossing a river over an old steel bridge. All big old towns have a river or lake or ocean near them. The bridges offer a sense of the city’s personality. Louisville looks like any other metropolis, but its bridge gives it a unique feeling. The vertical parabolic walls that support it echo the parabolic walls of stone flanking the mountain roads. Welcome to Louisville! I didn’t stop here, because I was running behind, but Kentucky in general looks like a great state to visit. I will definitely have to come back some time for a visit.